


Solace

by angellwings



Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Love, post episode: s02e03 And What Lies Beneath the Stones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-11-10
Packaged: 2018-04-30 21:38:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5180675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angellwings/pseuds/angellwings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cassandra and Jacob discuss a few things from their most recent case in Oklahoma. Spoilers for "And What Lies Beneath the Stones".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Solace

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. Just gonna say that up front. I had no intention to write about any of these things but damn if they didn't keep bugging me. Hopefully the thoughts in my head translated well.  
> Happy reading!  
> angellwings

He had expected Cassandra to hang around after they got back, if he were honest. He didn’t expect her to politely excuse herself and head for the door. She didn’t seem upset. She seemed fine, but then…

He liked to tell himself she was easy to read, but after a few of the things he’d learned today he realized he didn’t know half as much about her as he thought he did. He sped after her. All the while attempting not to look too eager. Jones was still in the room after all. He caught up with her in the hallway that led out of the Annex.

“Hey,” he called to get her attention.

She turned and gave him a curious look.

“You okay?” He asked.

She smiled warmly at him and nodded. “Just a little bit of headache. I’m fine.” She didn’t make any further moves to leave. Instead she bit her bottom lip nervously and then spoke again after a quiet pause. “Are _you_ okay?”

“Yeah,” he answered slowly as he squinted at her with uncertainty. “Or I will be, at least. Not afraid anymore. Well, not of him anyway. The effects of him, I’m a little nervous about.”

“Effects?” She asked with a furrowed brow as she stepped a little closer to him and gave him a concerned glance.

“There was a moment today where I…I was tempted to just give up. You know? Drown myself in a bottle and wallow in my anger. In my fear. If you guys hadn’t—“ He stopped and shook the end of the sentence away. “That wallowing and retreating into the drink...that’s what _he_ did, Cassie. What if, no matter how hard I fight it, I turn out like _him_?”

He felt her gentle hand on his arm and looked up to meet her eyes.

She smiled softly at him and then shook her head. “That’s not something you need to worry about.”

“You sure about that?” He asked. “I’ve already got a bit of his temper that I’d rather not have. It makes me stupid,” he said honestly as he made sure her blue eyes were focused on his. “And more than a little blind.”

He hoped she understood his meaning. He was trying to tell her something important. Something he knew they’d never actually discuss out loud. Their rocky start no longer lingered over them and hadn’t since they’d left for Peru three months ago. But neither made any inquiries to verbalize it. They’d simply seemed to mutually accept that it was behind them and absolutely resolved. But still, sometimes, he felt the need to say it. He never did, but he wanted to.

She nodded and gave him a reassuring grin. “Having met the man, now, Jacob, I can tell you… _your_ temper is not like _that_. I don’t think it ever could be. You’re different than him. Very different. You don’t need to worry about becoming him. You _won’t_. I know it.” Her hand traveled down the length of his arm and she briefly squeezed his hand before she released it. “When you grow up watching your parents' worst mistakes, you’re determined to avoid them for yourself.  Believe me, _I know_. You’re not him. You will never be him.”

Her words were reassurance that he didn’t know he needed. He could feel his shoulders relaxing and his posture straightening. When had that started happening? He’d noticed that earlier that day and even with Sun Room too. When had Cassandra’s faith in him become something he relied on? How had he not noticed it happening? And why did he have the urge to reach for hand and never let go? The mood in the small space became heavy suddenly. He had to say something. He needed to change the topic.

“So, Jones told me something interesting,” Jacob said with a teasing smirk.

Cassandra immediately closed her eyes in a wince and looked adorably embarrassed. “Oh god, I should’ve known. What did he tell you?”

“That you… _hate_ babies?” He asked with a quirked eyebrow and a grin. It actually amused him. The idea that sweet and caring Cassandra could hate tiny humans was so contradictory that he found it funny.

“They’re loud!” She exclaimed in frustration.

His brows rose at her sudden outburst and he chuckled at her.  To his further surprise she immediately continued ranting.

“They cry all the time! And they smell funny! I’m not even talking about that ripe diaper smell either. I just mean in general! And they spit up _everywhere_. I mean _everywhere_. Even, hypothetically, on a super expensive blouse that a person could spend far too much of her take home pay on, but you know she thought…why not? You only live once right? One designer blouse won’t break the bank! But then her ex-room mate comes over with her baby and of course forces it on her to hold because people with babies always think _other people_ should want babies. And suddenly her new blouse is covered in spittle. COVERED. And the dry cleaners can’t get it out so then she _has_ to throw it out. No other choice. Because _spittle_. Spittle, Jacob.”

“Wow,” he said as he bit back a laugh. “That was oddly specific. You done?”

She blew a piece of hair out of her face and then nodded. “Yes.”

“Ex-room mate, huh?” He asked her knowingly.

“I had a whole bunch of them in New York,” she told him as she calmed herself down. “At one time or another.”

“What happened?” He asked curiously.

“Oh, nothing happened really,” she answered with a small whistful smile. “They just all moved on, got married, had babies, you know all those things people do when they’ve got a whole lifetime—“ she stopped abruptly and met his eyes for a lingering moment.  Long enough to see the sudden misty glow to her baby blues and something he’d seen a bit of in her earlier that day. Sadness, longing. She ripped her eyes away from his and finished her sentence, “ahead of them.”

“I—I’m sorry,” he said quickly. He hadn’t meant to take her down that road. To make her think about that particular topic. “I shouldn’t have—“

“No, no, you’re fine. You couldn’t have know,” she told him with a furrowed brow and a confused expression. “I didn’t even know.”

“Know what?” He asked worriedly.

She looked thoughtful as she answered him. “The real reason I dislike babies so much. Wasn’t expecting that. It’s something I’ll never really get to have or understand, honestly. I just never took that thought that far down before. Never really saw the point,” she said as she smiled sadly at him and tapped her temple softly.

Her confessions from earlier that day seemed to settle around them and hang there. It was almost suffocating to think about but he couldn’t seem to stop. He didn’t even know what was happening. Hell, he never knew what was happening with Cassandra. He knew they flirted. He knew her opinions mattered more than he originally thought. He knew she had his back. He didn’t know what that was all moving towards. Or what to do with this new openness they’d developed. He did know one thing, though, one thing only.

He didn’t want it to end.

“Cassie,” he said after a long silent moment passed between them. “Earlier, in the cave—“

“Jacob,” she said in a warning tone. “Don’t worry about it. I told you, it’s not today.”

“No, I—Look I get it, you’ve made up your mind about it. I’m not gonna make that decision for you or try to. I got no right to do that. I know. But why not look for something to change it? All the magic we lock up in this place oughta be good for something. I mean the very first time we worked together you nearly had a cure! Excalibur! Surely there’s gotta be something else that could have the same effect,” he said as he avoided her eyes. She’d been living with this longer than he had. He didn’t know if what he was saying was hurting or helping, but he had to say it.

“Excalibur was one of the most magical and most historical artifacts in the _world_ ,” She told him in a kind resigned voice. “And the only way he was in a position to heal me was because he was _dying_. Even if we find another item that powerful, there’s no way I’d let anyone destroy it _for me_. I appreciate it, Jake, but…I don’t want to waste the time I have left obsessively searching for something that, in all probability, doesn’t exist. I want to spend my time going on adventures, fighting evil. I wanna spend it with…” she paused and he plucked up the courage to meet her eyes before she continued. “with the people I care about. I want to experience everything I can and just be the absolute best version of myself that’s humanly possible. The last time I got caught up in finding a cure it didn’t end well, remember?”

“I remember,” he said with a sigh. He gave her a determined gaze and straightened his shoulders. Her faith in him had done him a world of good recently. He wanted to return the favor somehow. “Cassandra, I know that you’ve—you’ve picked your day. You’re set on that. And living life on your own terms is extremely courageous. Of course, I want you to do that. I’m not gonna stand here and try to talk you out of it—“

“Yet,” she said as she interrupted him with a knowing grin.

“Yet,” he said honestly with a nod and a small smile of his own. The smile faded and his expression grew serious again as he continued. “But I _don’t_ want you to give up. Make all the plans you want, Cassie. I understand that, but promise me you won’t give up until that day comes, whenever it may be. You gotta promise me that.”

He met her eyes with a pleading emotional gaze and the resolve on her face melted ever so slightly. She closed her eyes for a brief moment before she looked at him through watery eyes and nodded.

“Promise,” she repeated. “I won’t give up. But I _am_ going to be prepared for it.”

“That’s fine,” he said with a relieved smile and a nod. “Prepare all you need to, really. But don’t give up. Alright?”

She nodded and smiled warmly at him. “Alright.” They continued to smile at each other for a long moment. Neither really knowing what to do with the emotions between them. It was like feeling everything all at once. A little touched, a little sad, but at the same time…warm, supported, cared for. Things neither of them had really been given in their lifetimes.

But that was okay because, as it turned out, they were finding them in each other.


End file.
